


Stale Apples

by Megylovessaw



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Drunk Fic, Fluff, Friendship, I Tried, Love Confessions, M/M, My First Fanfic, One Shot, sportarobbie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9098068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megylovessaw/pseuds/Megylovessaw
Summary: Robbie accidentally gets Sportacus drunk





	

Robbie wondered if his ideas were getting sloppy. 

The closest he ever seemed to get in banishing the blue elf from the town was his candy apples that knocked him into a sugar meltdown and kept him and the children quiet for a short while. 

The only problem that came with it, was Sportacus’ determination to carry on and eat healthily, eventually regaining his full flippity-self with the power of more fruit. 

Robbie liked to think he learnt from his mistakes, and he did most of the time, but he also liked trying the same things to see if anything changed as time went on. He discovered that nothing did, and Sportacus always somehow came on top, even at the constant threat of Robbie’s plans.

There had to be something involving fruit that he could use in his plot to banish Sportacus and his stupid airship from the town forever. It was his job, not only as a villain against a hero, but as someone who desperately needed sleep, to get rid of the noise Sportacus brought with him and the children everywhere they went together. 

Robbie was sick of being kept awake, and he was sick of Sportacus.

He threw himself down on his recliner with a huff, staring impatiently at the ceiling of his bunker, hoping for ideas, and then suddenly squinted his eyes in thought. He had never tried to make Sportacus sick before. Robbie wondered if athletic elves like Sportacus had similar biology to human people, and then to what he could use to make Sportacus feel ill.

A stale apple!

Robbie almost jumped to his feet when he thought of it. Sportacus was always naïve enough to believe the apples Robbie brought to him were genuine, so the appearance didn’t matter too much, and if Sportacus’ body overreacted to sickness in the same way he reacted with sugar, then he would have complete control over the hero.

It was a miracle that Robbie had never thought of it before.

*

Sportacus arrived in Lazytown with one flip from his airship ladder, curious as to who had sent him a letter moments before. It wasn’t signed, but it told him that the mystery writer was bringing in special fruits from the Elven North especially for Sportacus, to make him feel much more welcome in the town.

Sportacus was always happy whenever any of the children decided to send him a letter, but this one made him practically beam. He wondered how and when the person had managed to get him fruit from his hometown, and waited patiently in the centre of town as instructed. 

*

When Robbie appeared, uncharacteristically out of disguise, he began to feel an ache in his stomach at the sight of such a happy, glowing Sportacus. He even contemplated turning back to his bunker and stopping his lie, but Sportacus had spotted him and was smiling to the tips of his Elven ears.

“Hi, Robbie!” he called out, and Robbie hated his constant enthusiasm. He handed out a fancy box, and Sportacus’ eyes lit up when he realised the letter must have been from Robbie.

“How did you manage to get these?” Sportacus asked excitedly, and Robbie could’ve sworn he saw the elves ears twitch in delight underneath his hat.

He wondered why he felt so awful for lying and shrugged it off, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I’d get anything for my best friend,” he said through gritted teeth, knowing Sportacus liked the friendship between them, even if Robbie thought it was barely existent. 

Robbie genuinely smiled a little at Sportacus’ happiness, and he hated himself for it. He was a villain after all, and villains weren’t supposed to enjoy the hero’s company. 

Sportacus eagerly took a bite of the apple inside the box, and lunged at Robbie for a hug. Robbie felt incredibly uncomfortable at the close contact, and his face blushed bright red. There was something about being held by the elf that put him on high alert, and his body tensed up. 

It didn’t help that Sportacus didn’t seem to be letting go. Robbie looked down at the elf who had rested his head against his shoulder with his eyes closed. He pondered for a while before assuming the stale apple had taken the same effect on Sportacus as a candy apple would have, which meant he didn’t have long until he came out of it or the Lazytown residents would think something was wrong. 

Robbie wasn’t incredibly strong, but he managed to sling Sportacus over his shoulder; the elf not weighing very much at all. He quickly hurried over to his bunker behind the giant billboard, and brought Sportacus down the ladders into the main room to decide on what to do next. 

*

Robbie was pacing the room figuring out what to do, because he hadn’t really planned on what to do next, when Sportacus began to stir and wake up. Robbie had propped him up in his orange chair for comfort, and the elf had then proceeded to curl into a ball while he slept. 

The villain didn’t want to admit that Sportacus looked precious in a dozy state, but he did with his hat slipping off the side of his head, and tight curls in his hair from sleep.

“Hiya, Robbie,” he smiled, rising from the chair but falling straight back into it. 

“Are you okay?” Robbie asked without thinking, confused. Sportacus smiled and began giggling in response, and this puzzled Robbie even further. He speculated on what the apple could have possibly done to Sportacus. The elf was a mess in the chair, smiling at nothing and occasionally wafting his arms around.

“Are you- are you drunk?”

Sportacus threw his arms into the air.

“Maybe,” he smirked, and then Robbie realised he really was in trouble. He couldn’t leave Sportacus the way he was, and he couldn’t have him return to the airship. A drunken elf was something Robbie hadn’t prepared to handle.

“Those weren’t elf apples-” Sportacus began with a smirk, managing to make his way over to Robbie with a few stumbles. 

Robbie took a step back, unaware of how intense drunk Sportacus would be. The villain shook his head, then tried to guide Sportacus around to the chair. 

“They were stale,” Robbie explained, “I was trying to make you sick, not drunk.”

Sportacus laughed and pushed against Robbie’s chest before allowing the taller man to sit him back in the chair. 

Robbie felt like he was looking after a child and scoffed. This wasn’t what he wanted to have happened at all. 

He turned away from the elf to carry on pacing, before unexpectedly hearing a whimper from the chair. Sportacus had gone from a smiling drunk to someone on the verge of tears. 

Robbie rushed to his aid, because he had never seen Sportacus sad before and the emotion didn’t look right on him. 

“Why do you hate me, Robbie?” 

It was something the villain was never expecting to hear, and it stopped him in his tracks. He was lost for words.

“I don’t hate you, Sportacus,” he admitted, hoping that the elf wouldn’t remember anything when he sobered up (if that was indeed a possibility). 

Sportacus huffed sadly, and leaned closer to Robbie, who was knelt by the armrest of the chair. 

“I don’t want you to hate me,” Sportacus said quietly, and it sounded more genuine than his drunken self, “I want you to like me, Robbie.”

Robbie smiled at the emotional wreck on his chair. 

“I like you, Sportacus,” Robbie mainly told himself, “I like you-“

Slowly and softly, Sportacus had stolen a kiss from Robbie, and then a second without the villain really thinking about it. Sportacus was messy from the drunk part of him, but he was also delicate and sweet, and Robbie had to stop himself from carrying anything on. He didn’t want to take advantage of the kind elf who was offering so much to him. 

Sportacus smiled anyway, because he had caught the villain off-guard, and Robbie was grinning like an idiot too.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction and I hope you enjoyed! This was written very late, so constructive criticism is welcomed.


End file.
